Skeptical on Homeschooling

Skeptical on Homeschooling

Dear Brain Trust,

I’m considering homeschooling, and I know all the traditional reasons people homeschool……better education, better way to transmit your values, etc.  I’m still not sure it’s worth the sacrifice of my life, though.  What are some other benefits?  Convince me, Brain Trust!

Sincerely,
Skeptical


Doodle:
We live together. We eat three meals together.  We do school together.  We play together.  We go to Walmart together.  When you homeschool your kids, you have to work out their issues with each other on a daily basis…through thick and thin and ugly and uglier.  Each quirk, twitch, and nuisance is well known.  Homeschool kids can’t jump from one clique to another when they don’t like each other.  They are the clique. No escapees.  No avoiding the issues.  They are naturally forced to work out their issues everyday, which I believe makes great friends and wonderful human beings.

Hyacinth:
This might seem like a curse to some people, but I love that I get to feed my kids three square meals a day. My oldest child, now in college, was not homeschooled. Let’s see…how can I say this delicately…he was a fatty. Oddly, I’m not sure how the kid became a chunk. It seemed to me that we were eating healthily at home, but I think it just boiled down to the fact that he cozied up to vending machines when he was away from home. With my homeschooled kids, I can bend their little palates to my will. They actually like roasted eggplant and pomegranate brussel sprouts (thank you, Bobby Flay!). I put kefir in their smoothies. They endure capers in their tuna salad when I need a little culinary escapade. (Privacy notice: in the unlikely event that my college boy ever reads this post, I’d like to state that he is now no longer fat, though he still wouldn’t be caught dead in the company of a caper.)
Snow:
Capers??? Seriously??? I don’t know that I would hoot and holler over that benefit… but then again, I ate French fries dipped in a mixture of ketchup and mayonnaise everyday for lunch in my public school cafeteria. My thighs lecture me every morning in regard to that decision! My mind is racing with all of the intangible benefits I have seen along this journey. It is hard to narrow them down. One of the most rewarding things has been the education I am receiving right alongside my kids. Although I attended a good high school and great colleges, I really just learned to take tests well and write essays. I am not certain how much I actually learned. Now, I am truly learning and loving it! My kids and I can interact and connect through all that we are learning. It is quite enjoyable, and, yes, a little nerdy!
Bull:
Dear Skeptical, don’t walk, don’t even casually jog, RUN! Do you hear me? Run like your very life depended on it. You see, once you start batting the idea of homeschooling around your cerebrum, you’re in trouble. That’s how it started for all of us. And while my dear friends of the Brain Trust are waxing poetically about the “so-called” benefits of homeschooling, there’s some things they aren’t telling you.

You all know Hyacinth from P-Dub’s previous posts…..she’s the one with the adorable haircut and precious apron, right? What is she doing in 99% of the posts? That’s right. She’s cooking. She loves to cook. She loves to cook weird things, things most normal people can’t pronounce. Things most normal people wouldn’t touch with their dinner date’s fork. I love Hyacinth. I really do. But, make no mistake; her primary reason for homeschooling is exactly as she says: “to bend their little palates to her will.” I suppose there are worse things those kids could be subjected to than 3 squares a day of Hy’s culinary concoctions.

Then sweet Doodle lists the excessive amount of time homeschoolers spend together as an unexpected benefit! I installed a deadbolt on my bathroom door about six months into this little science experiment we call homeschooling because after a while, the kids lose all sight of appropriate boundaries. They misinterpreted, “Mommy’s using the restroom” to mean, “Mommy’s trapped and would make a captive audience.” Back on topic, the fact that Doodle cites “going to Walmart together” as a positive thing speaks volumes about her state of mind. The “no escapees” comment is a little troubling, but I’ve never been one to judge others.

Snow is a breath of fresh air, isn’t she? I can vouch for her nerdiness and lack of education, but I’ve never seen her thighs. She obviously went to a better public school than I did, because our French fries were inedible. Besides, most kids stopped eating the cafeteria food after finding innumerable quantities of the lunch ladies’ hairs tucked into the entrée du jour. Those are some good memories. What was the original question again?

Insecurity